Never Good Enough

I have always been the person who could never do anything quite well enough.

I am as smart as my sister, but was never quite able to live up to the standards she set at school. She excelled at the things she loved and I stayed stagnant, never quite being able to improve.

My parents would never tell me to my face, but I have let them down in my life. I could have done as well (if not better) than her, but I didn’t.

Maybe I am setting the bar too high for myself. Maybe I should just give up. Accept that I am destined for nothing but mediocrity.

I am mediocre at school: I am about to lose my scholarship, I may not be able to make it to law school, I may be ruining my entire future.

I am mediocre in love: I have never been good enough for anyone.

I am mediocre at work: I work so hard and still get crappy tips, I deal with so much crap for nothing.

The Little Things

I take the little things in life for granted. We all do. It isn’t until something is taken away that we truly understand how much we use and need it.

Take, for instance, being sick (which I underwent today). Being able to breath without feeling like your chest is going to explode, a little thing I learned was nice today. Going to school and work, yes I missed both of these exercises.

I found myself bored and unable to sleep because the house was so bright. I really did miss sitting in a classroom and learning something. We all complain about how much we hate going to school, how tedious it is; however, I reacquainted myself with my love of learning today.

I love my job, I love both of my majors, but why is it that I find myself going through the motions half-heartedly? Being away from my normal life for twenty four hours has made me realize a lot of things.

We should all step back once in a while and reacquaint ourselves with our realities.